I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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