My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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