My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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