So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
