You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well I can't set my house on fire every night
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
