I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
