Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
