I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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