Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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