I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
