if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
