Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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