omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
time to smoke my breakfast
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
