The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
