she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
