Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cockslap morals
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
