i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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