ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
