The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
