i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize