dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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