Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I think i got beer on your cat.
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