I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
