the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
