I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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