just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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