I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
