He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dick very happy bro
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
