Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
