Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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