She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
