just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found puke in my bra..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
