why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
