all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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