New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
