Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
