Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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