My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Randomize
