no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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