I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
