Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
