my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
