just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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