I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize