another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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