ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
