porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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