peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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