There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
vagina is talking i cant
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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