its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
