This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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