We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think my moral compass just broke
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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