the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
