I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
