He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
