She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
