I think I died a long time ago.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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