Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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