do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
