I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
MIDGETS
????
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize