I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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