dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
