You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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