My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
