Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize