i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
