Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
