I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
