The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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