We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize