dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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