Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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