god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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